The adventure continues--part 3

[PortlandDad]

AF: I am both happy and sad for you today: polar opposites. On the one hand I am thrilled for you that your W is home/coming home. This moment marks a milestone in your separation. It is the moment that you have posted about for months. Practically every post you made was about her getting her butt back home! Seriously, go back and read your posts. That is why they are saved here, so you can read them and remember what your mental state was when you wrote them. You wanted her home and wondered why she wouldn't come home. Each of those messages was a prayer, a prayer that she would come to her senses and come home.

She is home now, or will be shortly. That prayer has been answered. All those posts and all those pleas to God that she would come back. Not to make you feel guilty about having buyers regret, but there are dozens of people on here that would give everything they have to be in your situation with their Sp.

Does that forgive what she's done? No. It doesn't and it shouldn't. You are just today dealing with the admission of your worst fears. You've wondered for days what was so bad that would keep her away from you and your D. Even without knowing, you knew that it had to be something terrible. The admission is a blow, yes, but you've lived with the worst-case scenario for a while now. This wasn't a "pass the salt, and oh, by the way, I'm having an affair and want a divorce" moment that some folks here have had to deal with.

It is going to take time for both of you. The fact that she admitted the affairs is huge, and it shows that she does want to find some reconciliation with you. Your trust in her is shattered, but hers in you is still existent. You need the time to grieve and heal. Have a good cry. Let it all out. Real men DO cry when their heart is broken, you know that, so let it all out.

Don't think right now that you need to forgive. You are hurt and are feeling the betrayal fresh. In fact, I have heard council that what you want to shoot for is not forgiveness, but acceptance. Take the time for yourself right now and see if acceptance is something that you are willing to grant.