I cannot echo Sandi2 enough. Please learn from our mistakes. Even couples with horrible M's that are much worse than yours, do not end up making you think you are sooo much better off. In the end, you'll find SOMETHING in your spouse that is also in common with the spouse you don't like of the other couple. It's human nature to find patterns.
Plus it teaches you NOTHING about how to interact lovingly. So find happier couples or go to some marriage encounters --we loved 90% of those and the ones we didn't find helpful were usually too elementary or basic, so they NEVER harmed our R in any way.
In one instance, I'd say a particular workshop was a turning point in our M. It was NOT "for married couples" so much as for individuals, but like DB says, if you change one person in the R, the R changes too. In fact, though it was 20 years ago, I think if things continue to go well at this end, I'd like to go back to that workshop this August, for our 28th anniversary and maybe have a renewal of our vows!!. (Have NOT discussed this with H, but if it happens, I will surely let YOU ALL KNOW....cross your fingers) And if we don't get all the way back there by then, as long as we are on the road, towards a full renewal, I'll shut the heck up and be grateful. I'm already luckier than many. But look at my timeline, PLEASE...don't think this happens fast enough for any of us.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
