Look, reasonable people differ on the whole "confront-and-expose" thing, but the fact is that you can ask 100 people their opinion on it, and you're going to get something in between 40/60 and 60/40, and then where are you going to be?
Right back where you started, and that is that YOU have to decide what you think is best for your situation.
The only thing I WOULD encourage you to do is to make your decision based on what you think will be the most effective, and not based on what will be the most uncomfortable or what will "make her mad."
