Will she agree to write the OM a no-contact letter? Also, any other men with whom she may still be in contact? This is very important, and YOU need to approve the content, and YOU need to mail it (so that she doesn't add anything to it). Waywards will usually not want to hurt their OM/OW more than they feel they already have, as sick as that sounds, so this step is very important.
She'll also need to change her cellphone #, and if you don't get real-time detailed billing on your home phone (I do with Comcast Digital Voice), then you should change that as well. Her new cellphone # should be in your name, and with detailed billing that comes to YOU. There are other details about transparency you'll need to know; just google "infidelity" and "transparency" and "no-contact letter" and you'll find some good resources.
You need to be prepared: if she truly did (and does) end contact, she is going to go into HARD WITHDRAWAL for 2-3 weeks. It's ugly. And TOTAL withdrawal may take up to six months or more. That is IF she maintains no-contact; ANY contact with him again -- even a negative one -- can set her "clock" back to 0:00.
Affairs are drugs, and she needs to work this out of her system.
I'm glad she came clean; that's good. Be sure and tell her that you APPRECIATE that she told you, and validate that you know it wasn't easy for her to do that.
