i wonder if it will..I love him like I am concerned for his well being.. but have no feelings of husbandly love.. He says he has felt for a long time that he was never enough for me and that is how i treated him... and when i look at it honestly..I have felt that way many times..so I worry that I want him to be someone he cant be.. or do I want him to be all the "he" can be. Im sure it came out in how i treated him....but not until now have i even recognized that is how i felt about him.. I kept thinking he would become more confident or be "more" in some way.. and when he didnt.. I just continued on ignoring it..So I am worried that I really dont have those feelings stuck back in the back..I want to work on our marraige.. but I am horrified of how I actually might feel about him.. And i dont want him to be married to someone who he feels he can never be enough for.. what kind of marraige is that? I think we are doing our best to approach it honestly.. and im sure he is scared and floored.. He says that I want to become some other person .. that i am nolonger happy w/ my life ... I said..want more for myself.. and no I am not happy w/ status quo.. He had heart surgery in the fall... and that shocked me into some sort of life realization that life is so short... we should be living it..not just muttling through... I am doing things to make myself happier as an indvidual.. but he takes it as I am turning into this "other person".. which im not.. Im just more like the person he married.. whom he has forgotten..he is threatened by any changes i make.. understandably.. considering my poor judgement..but I feel like the wheel has started turning in my head and I cant stop it..Im taking control of my life.. as best as I know how..and I hope he will do the same.. but I cant do it for him.. thanks for your imput.. this is so good to be able to talk to others going through the same things.. H.
