Sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. This board has been pretty quiet recently, much quieter than newcomers usually is.
I think that the fact your wife has asked why you didn't make the changes she's noticing when it mattered is pretty good evidence that she's noticing them. In fact, if she asked why you didn't make them before it's probably a sign that she's annoyed they didn't happen before and therefore that she still has feelings towards you. Don't give up- keep on with showing the changes in you and eventually she will soften. However much patience you expdect you'll need, you'll need to at least double, if not treble it. The road is long, to quote The Hollies.
What are your changes? The needle won't go straight back to zero if she is seeing an OP- women tend to think over things many times in their own minds and she will be comparing and contrasting you with said OP. If you are patient and show that you have changed you have a good chance, especially with children in the picture. The advice to forget about the OP is correct- you have to concentrate on improving your R and yourself, and forget about the OP. The only person who you hurt by thinking about a potential OP is yourself.....
Good luck, and keep posting. One great piece of advice I got when I first came here was to post to other people with whose situations I identified. They'll then come and post back to you and you'll be able to garner more and more support and opinions. You're in a great place and there are some people with great advice around. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
