Hmmmm??? Her complaints.... these are teh real ones that I have heard multiple times
1. No Ambition - no promotions
2. Shift Work - said I would only be on it for five years after we married.
3. Did not like being the bread winner of the family and felt she paid an unfair share of the expenses -
4. Talked in a mean tone sometimes to her and my daughter: (true) Irritation in my situation and our marriage would build and I would take it out with my tone when daughter was exceedingly bad or ignoring me and in arguements with her)
5. No romance - true to her, slipped into a long term married couple mode.
6. I don't have any friends that I do stuff with. (Catch 22)I only had two weekends off a month and spent them with my family.
7. Let my body go (now have lost about 30lbs and keeping it off with gym but she could be afraid this won't last either)
Those are the consistent ones prior to divorce announcement. There have been others said. Some are BS. I blew the majority of them out of the water when I got this job in CO. I will be making more money than she currently does, (I hope she goes out there and gets a raise or higher position), off shift work, and moved into management.
I think #6 scares her and would really be the fear of trying over. We can't do anything about that right now anyways.
I know now that I was insensitive in communications and those I am working on. But we have done better in our last few discussions.
Others while I could defend with my perspective I now can fully understand why it bothered her.
Example: we have been married 16 years and she has never met my sister. Conversation the other day she brought that up and asked "don't you think there is something wrong? My answer was we can only take so many trips a year and flying across the US just to meet my sister, I guess I put that low on the priority list because I know you miss your family.
See. I have a dad, mom, two brothers and a sister and everyone of them lives in a different state out west. We live on the southeast coast and her family all lives in the Northeast. The whole time I thought I was doing something special for her by sacrificing time with my family to go visit hers and do our family vacations....BUT! I NOW think I get the picture (based on some other events) I think she is offended that I never took her to see my sister and show her off as my wife. I think that hurts her feelings that I didn't make introducing her to my whole family a priortiy. She told me the other day that it should not have been her responsibility to say lets go see your family
I feel bad but I also know this is a case of her not stepping up and telling me what was important and assuming I should have know how it was making her feel. Women are from Venus, men are from Mars?????
So I have really done a lot. I am kind of in the same boat as others. I understand why she felt the way she does on some items but I also know that some of them were reactions to things she was doing So...what do you do ? LOL!
