Holding onto Hope

[In Limbo]

Sandi,
I'll respond to your post later, but right now my mind is on what's gone on this weekend and I need to vent and ask some advice. I'm so tired of everything being my fault. I'm tired of everything that goes wrong with the kids, the house, his life being my fault and H taking no responsibility. Why am I trying to get him to stay when it's like this? Why can't I just stop loving him? Why am I always the one apologizing for everything? When did I lose my self-respect? I can see that DB would help me get it back, but right now I just don't feel strong enough to do anything except survive.
H installed a spray faucet in laundry room upstairs several months ago (at my request). I was just bathing the dog and S7 came running upstairs saying there was a leak in the kitchen ceiling. Evidently, something in the faucet was leaking and now the ceiling is ruined. I began trying to figure out what happened and dry the ceiling and asked S7 to go get his dad (who was on the computer) and H never came. S7 went down again a few minutes later and H finally came up looking perturbed. H went upstairs, glanced (didn't even get under the sink) and said "you guys really messed it up," commented how it was right in the middle of the kitchen ceiling "really f****d up" and went back to the basement, closed his door and got back on the computer while the kids and I cleaned up the mess. H did NOTHING to help contain the water, clean things up, fix anything - NOTHING. I went down and knocked on the door of his office and he said "go away." I asked if I could come in and he said "no." I wasn't going to pursue, so I said nothing else and came upstairs. I've been bawling, but now have that under control and need to figure out what to say to him.
Yesterday he totally disregarded the plans I had and made me take the boys with me (no big deal, but it was the principle of it) so that he could go look at a Porsche. A Porsche for crying out loud! Then he tried to call me to meet him for lunch (to talk about the Porsche) and I didn't answer (accidentally left phone on vibrate) and he was so mad he reminded me about it all day. Then he got so mad at S7 warming up for his baseball game that he loaded us up and made us go home - with S7 NOT playing his game. It was embarrassing and painful to say the least. Says he's not going to allow S7 to play any more because he's lazy and a cry baby and a whiner. What in the world lesson is that teaching our boys? And of course, they're both lazy and babies and everything else because of me.
This weekend has been a total disaster and I'm so tired of it. I'm supposed to travel on business this week (yes, I work full time outside the home), but I'm torn. Part of me says go on so that H can have the responsibilities I usually have (which is tough on him because the kids don't fit into his schedule anymore) and because I don't need to let him continue to run my life. But another part of me is afraid to leave if he's going to be verbally abusive to the boys and irresponsible. What do I do? What do I say to him? How do I confront him?