i wanted to reply to this that you posted in my thread...
Quote: P.S. I think your definition of when you should move to piecing is perhaps too narrow. You may well feel much more like you are piecing before physical intimacy resumes.
here is the thing shiny, and this is based on my religious beliefs. once "intimacy" has occurred - that is the identifying mark of "forgiveness" and "scripturally" if we were "intimate" i would at that point have no basis for divorce. unless of course he does it again and at that time i can make another conscience decision to either stay or go. if i wanted a divorce after we had been "intimate" i could of course get one legally, but scripturally i would not be free to remarry. and neither would he.
since i have already "forgiven" him in my heart, if he decides to leave at this time, he is not free to remarry. i am because he has left me. he would only be free to remarry at the point that i got married first.
BUT - if we become "intimate" then neither of us have grounds.
i hope that made sense. now what this means in regards to piecing?
because i have these beliefs, in my head, i believe he is "with-holding" right now to give me the opportunity to leave with a clear conscience should i still decide to. so him not allowing us to "consumate" the forgiveness means TO ME that he is still sitting on the fence. either for his sake or his belief for mine.
once we have been "intimate" that to me would show that we are ready to work together on this marriage. he knows that step means we (me) cannot go back, we have to make it work.
please tell me that made sense?
that is the reason i am waiting for intimacy before i come to piecing.
