Oops!!.......I think I've dropped the rope!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, [[[Glam]]].

Yes, I know I have been letting my emotions dictate my actions and that is never a good thing. But, I think I am getting a better grip now. I sent H the following e-mail this morning.

OK, took a big breath and did some meditation and got some rest and hopefully have a better perspective.

I don't know if you closed the account or maybe you just changed the Password for the account. Either way, it's really no nevermind to me. If you are concerned about my access to your funds, the better way I suggest would be to change the direct deposits to your other account and still use the joint account to take care of all the joint bills and such. In fact, I would encourage you to do this so that makes transactions in there a bit clearer. But I do promise you, H, I will not take advantage of my access to the joint account (if it's still open) other than to simply keep an eye on what's done and cover our collective ass if you have overlooked something (as has happened a couple of times because you have a lot on your plate). I give my word I certainly will not withdraw or use funds in there without your prior notification and approval.

I really don't want our sitchuation to get ugly, H, and I know you don't either.

By the way, when D24 made the "sneaky" remark, I told her to cut it out and accept that perhaps you were simply trying to be pleasant. She then said that you did acknowledge GD and she was very appreciative of that. She is a beautiful baby, isn't she!! I swear when I sit and hold her while she sleeps in my arms, all the crap just falls away and everything is right with the world.

I also had a talk with S18. I told him that if he wants some space from you for a little while, that's one thing, but he better not be using our situation to manipulate things to get out of work he doesn't want to do! I told him that he has to show his sincerity, good faith and professed "maturity" by actually doing the work at other times when you aren't there, and to still communicate with you on the progress of the work and how things should be done, etc...... I also told him that you are his father and you love him and that he would regret it later if he were to continue to cut you off as he seems to be doing right now. I told him I really thought that would be a mistake.

On the plus side, I am in contact with S18's GF's mother and BF's mother (a little) and have some mutual support from them on things. And S18 seems to have really turned over a new leaf in some respect and seems to be working on at least notifying me of what's going on with him, and where/how he can be reached if needed, and not getting into the "substances" as far as I know. Steps in the right direction at least. However, he seems to be saying he wants to do his GED and get a job instead of doing the self study thing.........I'm not sure if he's just saying that because he knows money is tight or what......but I will talk with him more on it.

H, I know that you are just making decisions for your own happiness and I do still want you to be happy. Really.

Take care.

OK, time to move forward..........keep breathing!!