Probable Affair

[markhaving probs]

PM,

My wife is the sort that will do whatever she wants to do and did not cower or waver whenever I confronted her. In fact, she seemed to have a bone fide reason for things I thought were proof about an affair. The other day for instance, when I was not comfortable with my daughter having a mobile phone at 11 years of age. I thought it was something we needed to discuss face to face, unfortunately for me she went and bought her one anyway. She said the reasons were because of her 'growing up' stage and she may not want to talk to me. As much as I think the reasons were not entirely truthful, I was advised to validate the reason and thank her for doing what she thought was the right thing. This goes against the grain for me because I would have wanted to tell my wife she was wrong and should be consulted more, does this prove she does not respect me? The validation is a 180 for me, but the fact I said one thing then validated her the next for purchasing the phone looks indesivive. I am confused.

I am the one living in my friends house while my wife lives in the family home with me picking up all the bills. This for me is another bone of contention as I have been given advice that she should pay the bills and I am being treated like a doormat while she goes on her flights of fantasy with me picking up the tab. I have decided on a financial settlement twice only for me then in hindsight to say it isn't enough, I am on the verge of doing this again because of the money and also what I know now is going on. This has made me angry, whereas I have been pussy-footing around trying to be mr nice guy and not trying to upset her. Time and time again Puppy Dog Tails and other posters have continually said forget about her and do what is right for you and the children. I find this so hard, and as you can see I am totally confused, hurt and needing some clear advice on what I should do regarding regaining respect (if possible), getting the right financial package without dithering again - or do I accept what I have just agreed to, and the right way to get back into my wife's heart if possible?

I just this second returned a call I received from my wife 30 minutes ago which I ignored so that I do not answer her calls whenever she rings and does not seem needy. It was about the children, though she went on to ask me why I came home to get my suit and I told her, she then wanted to find out about what I was doing tomorrow. This is the first time she has asked anything regarding my whereabouts for some time, but again if she is now happier with her new 'lifestyle' she may think she can asks these things without feeling guilty or something. I desperately wanted to tell her she had no fed the fish (another reason I knew she had not slept there last night), and wanted to ask her where, who, she had been. I didn't but it was hard, I am certainly not reading anything into this tiny conversation. I stayed upbeat told her the children had a lovely weekend, and then ended the conversation.