Probable Affair

[PositivelyMommy]

Hi Mark

First of all, yes, a woman usually loves a guy she can respect. Those two things are very closely linked together. They want to be able to depend on a man and respect him. She certainly doesn't want a pushover, someone who is like a willow and blow whichever direction the wind is blowing.

So in her presence, you need to be firm, confident, know what you want kind of man.

Having said that, it sounds like she knows exactly how you feel about her having an affair as you said you flipped your lid a few weeks ago and accused her of seeing someone. Well, I am sorry that your worse fear has come true. But she chose to ignore your feelings and went ahead with it.

I know Puppy's philosophy regarding exposing affairs. I think it works on some people and not on others. Here's why. Some people will cower in the face of their opponent playing hardball. Some people will fight back and retaliate.

I think you need to ask yourself which type of person she is. My H is definitely someone who will fight back and retaliate if I fight too hard, so I need to fight 'softly' and try to influence him instead. I read on other posts here that there are spouses out there who will cower in light of exposed affairs and they fear losing face/reputation and what others might say so being agressive with those sort of people works.

So which type of person is she? What has been your experience with her? If you confront her, does she just goes ahead and do exactly the opposite of what you ask her not to do? Or does she bend to your will? You probably know the answer. So don't do what doesn't work, OK?

You told me you flipped out a few weeks ago and now she is staying over at someone else's house. You do the math. What works, what doesn't work. If she doesn't respect you when you blow up then don't blow up anymore. You can be firm without blowing up. But be very careful what you say. Don't give ultimatums that you can't follow up on. It shows weakness and as I mentioned before women don't respect that. So think it thru before you open your mouth. Got it?