Single dad of three

[JokerMan]

I know this is not the right place to post, but I figured it would be the easiest to catch up with those who stuck by me for so long.

Update:
Good:
- Ex and I get along great. She's got a new man now. He's a good dude from what I can tell.
- Practically have 50/50 physical custody (I get 13 days a month which is better than most...esp in my position)
- No real side effects from the kidos from the divorce

Bad
- Broke as Madoff (50/50 physical custody a'int cheap and neither the ex or her new man have a full time job so I gotta pay it all)
- Economy sucks & working three jobs to make ends meet

Ugly
- Sad...Feel like a failure. I made a mistake.
- I have bone cancer (it is under control though)

But I have come to believe that you have to hold on to the positive. Cling to the positive. Inhale and live by the things that are good in your life. We ALL have demons, crap and stuff that sucks. It does not mean that it does not hurt, or that it is fair or right.

What to dwell on??? I may be a fool. I am choosing the good....not the bad...not the ugly that is in us all.

[mermaid]

Hi JM
I remember your posts and I remember rooting for you. I am glad that you see the positives in life and don't dwell on the negative. Your children will learn a lot from this. I wish you all the best.

[NNP1965]

Hi Joker, thanks for the update. Sorry to hear about the bad and the ugly, but you are right to focus on the good.

Things in my sitch have hit critical mass... but in spite of all the crap in the air I am doing pretty well.

Keep in touch...

[whatisis]

I'm with ya, Jokerman! I'm in my second year of separation and have a good R with STBX and my kids seem to have adjusted well. I get them one week and STBX gets them the next. We live a few blocks from each other so the kids are always in the same neighbourhood. Personally, I'm finding the second year of separation to be harder than the first, but it's all a process and I too am choosing to concentrate on the positive as much as possible. DB helped me to build a life outside my marriage before the marriage ended and that has been a saving grace indeed.
Hang in there, we never know what's around the next turn in the road but we can take what we have now and be thankful for it, many others have less indeed.

[cat03]

What to dwell on?

That's what makes the difference between a miserable life or to triumph despite what has happened. Glad to hear you have the bone cancer in check, prayers your way)))))

[runningoutoftime]

Ahhhhh.... Jokerman. I remember you and your posts. I am so sorry about what happened. I had wondered about you. Yes, this board can be addictive but it's a great support when you are going through rough times, and it sounds like it may be good place for you right now. Eventually things will get easier and you won't feel the desire to be here so much. But for now, stick around for a little while. And NO, no one hates you. I never felt that way towards you. I know you wanted so badly for your marriage to get through the A, and your family to stay together.

{{{{hugs}}}}}

[Aud31]

I may be a fool. I am choosing the good....not the bad...not the ugly that is in us all.

That, my friend, is definitely not a fool talking. We're all human, every one of us. Don't discount the progress you've made and the lessons you've learned through your mistakes--if you go back and look at it without the cloud of regret and self-anger, I think you'll see that you are much stronger and sure of what kind of person you want to be.

Thanks for the update, JM. I'm so sorry it's hard...I'm glad your W didn't move the kiddos across the country, and FWIW, I pray you'll be able to find forgiveness and peace in your heart.

[ACJ]

JM,

Sorry to hear things didn't pan out the way you had hoped. Glad to hear that you are fighting the cancer and making success with it.

Being a single parent isn't easy but as you say what you get back from them more than makes up for it.