I am sorry. I think your instincts are probably telling you what you have been suspecting but your heart cannot bear. I think the toothbrush not being there is the biggest sign. You must be going through a lot of pain. It stinks and hurts like hell. Thank goodness you are here and have read what NOT to do, unlike me who did ALL of the wrong things again and again.
So please, don't make things worse. No pursuing. No ultimatums. No accusations. Read the DR book again. GAL. This pain will stay with you for a few months then will dull slightly over time. But you don't want to do anything now that you will regret later on in case you want reconciliation. Give yourself the option of a recon, OK?
My DB coach said that I can prove I am right all the time. And I can be right all I want if I want to be alone. The thing to do if you want to keep the marriage is to follow Michelle's advice and don't do anything rash and not to make your relationship any worse.
I regret the bad conversations I had with my H when I found out about the affair because my hurting heart was talking most of the time. I wanted to share my hurt with him. But you know what, they are in a fog. It won't make a difference.
Take care of yourself, get family support, take care of the kids and if you can afford it, talk to a DB Coach, they give great advice. Good luck.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
