Not to rain or your parade or anything but if you don't devote some time to your own personal issues, your next relationship - whenever it happens - is almost guaranteed to be doomed from the start.
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It's about getting some sort of normalacy (mis-spelled of course) back in our lives
I hate the word "normalcy" on these boards. First of all, newcomers tend to have a warped sense of what "normal" is. Most likely, if they WERE able to return to what they define as "normal", it's just back to that place they were in during the calm before the storm. That place where you were clueless. I might be in the minority but I don't believe that to be a good place. Because it was a place where you didn't think there was anything so wrong that it couldn't be swept under the carpet with the rest of the crap that had been piling up for years. It is very rare to have someone here say their life was really a fairytale right up to the bomb and even if they THOUGHT it was, the bomb proved them wrong, didn't it? I find the ripping off of the rose-colored glasses is a good thing ultimately although I definitely agree that it's probably the most painful thing someone that ends up here has happen to them. I know this is a hard process to go through but I can't imagine how anyone would REALLY want their head to be back in the sand. But maybe that's just me. Perhaps I've just had my rose-colored glasses ripped off so many times in the last 3 years that I now believe so sincerely that it will be for the best in the end that my sensitivities might be waning. If so, I apologize. But I still hate the word "normalcy". You want your ex to pull in the driveway but for whatever reason he doesn't want to. To him - today - that is normal. Define "normal" for yourself from now on. If to you it is normal to pull into his driveway, DO IT unless he requests otherwise. If he never pulls into your driveway again, that will become normal for you, too. Just stop sweating the small stuff or you are never going to get past ground zero.
