A New Decade

[Kenn]

Hi MsM

Don't know about a male perspective.... How's the car work going? It's great you are letting him repay you in some form. I mean favor (lending) for favor (work on car and around house). That will help him a little with any pride issues but from your posts it sounds like he really wanted to help you.

Like I say all people are different. I really hate asking people for anything but get a lot of gratification out of helping people.

[MsMelancoly]

Hey Kenn, Yep - your last statement - that is me too!!

Well, last night M1 called me to go out to a club by my house. I told him to call me when he got in the area - so he did & ended stopping over to my house & waited for me to get ready. On our walk to the club we saw that M3 & his sister walking to the club (we were supposed to meet them there). Inside the club I mostly talked with M1, it seems M3 was meeting another girl there. So I made 1 effort to joke & chat with M3 & that was all. He was preoccupied with this girl & his sister. What do I say. No big deal. Am I hurt, na, not really. It is what it is. So I left after my 2 beers & walked home. Being a light weight, I only should have had 1 beer, cuz I felt like crap this morning...... slowly to recover .....

[MsMelancoly]

Saga Part 2: So my H was late today, no big deal, as I was still recovering & didn't feel like doing anything anyway. When he arrived, I asked him if he wanted something to drink & he said a martini. I said ok - but what does that say .... you need a drink to work on my car. (Guess he needs to get liquored up for this job)!! Our chit chat was nice & easy. Then when we were walking back to my car I said: So does your slave labor include sex & masaages?? He said: I don't know maybe. I said: So you just threw the slave labor offer out & haven't thought of an boundaries yet - huh!?!?! He said: Hhhmm, Guess I haven't really thought about it. Subject was over & on to oil change.

I am so grateful he change my oil, cuz my sister & I put the filter on way too tight - which is bad. My H got if off, without getting angry & I kept apologizing. He lectured me on putting the filter on too tight. I accepted the mini lecture. Then we had to go to the car parts store, we took his convertible, with the top down, it was sssoooo nice - good conversation too. Got back to change the brake pads, car jacked up rolled back & fell!! Luckily, my H had gotten out of the way. We worked together to get the car back up & my pads were ok. We, He, put car back together & we took it for a ride to try & hear the noise I was hearing. As we were pulling in to my parking spot, I heard the noise & he got out to listen. After some coffee & a smoke he figured out what the noise was, no big deal, & will oil it another time. I thanked him for changing my oil & for figuring out the squeek in my car. Then I asked him if he would figure out one of the dogs twisted harnesses. I told him I had tried & my sister had tried & we couldn't figure it out (which is true). I told him he was so good at fixing & figuring things out that maybe he could. He twisted it around & fixed it in a matter of minutes!! Again, I complimented him, Telling him I knew he could figure it out. He accepted the compliment & agreed he was good at fixing & figuring things out. And that his job doesn't appreciate him for that - I totally agree.

Time to eat. I got the food ready, while he got the grill out & started (he rarely did that before). So we ate & chatted again. Then we played a few games of dice & it was time for him to leave. He again mentioned his friend Bob & that he was done trying to help him. I said I agree, you cannot help someone, who doesn't want to help or at least try to help themselves. Bob definately prefers his pity party with his beer rather than setting goals & enjoying life. Earlier in the day I told my H, that I didn't want to be his mother or tell him what to do, but he really needs to talk to his landlord/friend/co-worker about getting his rent reduced. My H really cannot afford it & does so much extra at the house he is renting. My H agreed.

I asked my H if he would like to come over for dinner sometime this week?? He said yes. So Wednesday it is. We again hugged & kissed & away he drove. So all in all a good day

(Wow this post is long)!

[Kenn]

I was still recovering & didn't feel like doing anything anyway.

This is cool girl material (according to my guide lines )

martini.

this is in many of your posts and more cool girl material. Like I said I am still in the process of working up my list. Dirty martinis get more points LOL!

you need a drink to work on my car. (Guess he needs to get liquored up for this job)!!

You said he hates to work on cars and this helps.. besides they are only brakes what can go wrong?

So does your slave labor include sex & masaages??

more cool girl stuff.

Subject was over & on to oil change.

Bummer... that's my male perspective

cuz my sister & I put the filter on way too tight - which is bad.

not really... just for the person who has to take it off the next time LOL!

He lectured me on putting the filter on too tight. I accepted the mini lecture.

awesome job.. makes him feel important

we took his convertible, with the top down, it was sssoooo nice

I have a really great comment on this but your my friend and based on our situations I will save it for later

Got back to change the brake pads, car jacked up rolled back & fell!! Luckily, my H had gotten out of the way.

okay.... so the drink was a bad idea... who would have known?????

... I thanked him for changing my oil & for figuring out the squeek in my car. Then I asked him if he would figure out one of the dogs twisted harnesses..... I told him he was so good at fixing & figuring things out that maybe he could. .... Again, I complimented him, Telling him I knew he could figure it out. He accepted the compliment & agreed he was good at fixing & figuring things out. And that his job doesn't appreciate him for that - I totally agree.

for someone who worries about being his mother you seem to be doing well at complimenting him and helping him feel important ...

I didn't want to be his mother or tell him what to do, but he really needs to talk to his landlord/friend/co-worker about getting his rent reduced.

have you ever heard the story about when you use the word BUT in a sentence you are really negating the first part... read your first half of that sentence with that in mind. I would change that to "have you ever thought about asking your landlord about reducing your rent since you are doing so much work for him? makes it his decision not yours and gives him an out to do it without feeling like your are directing his actions. However... remember my spouse is leaving me

I asked my H if he would like to come over for dinner sometime this week?? He said yes.

AWESOME!!! I know it's tough but if you are enjoying his company for the moment and not thinking what it will lead to then awesome because it makes you happy. Happy and fun is good!

(Wow this post is long)!

so what, all that's on tv right now is 'Zack and Cody' or reruns of 'Lost in Space'....

You now have my male perspective.....is it working LOL

P.S. Sounds like yo had a good day! Even if it doesn't lead to something a good day is so much better than a bad day! I am glad you had a good day!

[MsMelancoly]

Hey Kenn, Thanks for posting!!! Reading your post made me chuckle & smile!!! I felt like I was watching a play by play board with John Madden. Now just add a few xxx & ooo for me & draw a line where I can slip through the line of scrimmage & all will be gggrreeeat!!!!

How about an extra dirty, vodka martini??

Thank you for the grammar course, you are totally right.

Yep, I had thought about it & other than inviting him over to work on D papers, it had been awhile since I just asked him over. So I decided why not. At this point, really, the way to my poor mans heart is through his stomache! Oh & he has been winning at our Pirates of the Caribbean dice games - so another plus!

[MsMelancoly]

Kenn, One more thing .... I'm a bit slow this eve, but I gottcha.

The top down was on the CAR - not ME!! Or maybe that should be top off - still not me - lol

[JCJ]

Hey Ms M

I think Kenn pretty much covered it. You are Ms Cool Girl not Ms Melancoly! I reckon you should change your name!

Jx

[Kenn]

play by play board with John Madden. Now just add a few xxx & ooo for me & draw a line where I can slip through the line of scrimmage

and a woman obviously knowledgable about football... another item goes on the list. HOWEVER... I thought I saw a WI somewhere near your name once AND if you understand football THEN I figuring you to be a Packer Fan????? Might lose Pts for that (I'm a Viking fan)

How about an extra dirty, vodka martini??

don't forget the blue cheese stuffed olives

Yep, I had thought about it & other than inviting him over to work on D papers, it had been awhile since I just asked him over. So I decided why not. At this point, really, the way to my poor mans heart is through his stomache! Oh & he has been winning at our Pirates of the Caribbean dice games - so another plus!

I congratulate you. If he is as down as you say he probabbly really needs a friend and someone that shows they care about him. Don't show you feel sorry for him (if you do) just have a good time! My take.

[MsMelancoly]

Yep, I was raised on sports & watching football. So yes, I was a Packer fan. Don't watch them much anymore - not into sport much really. My H is kinda a Vikings fan. I don't think he watches them much - but likes to taunt the guys at work, when they win. I wish when I was a kid my parents were more well rounded. In that I mean not only pushing sports, but other hobbies.

No, just regular, cheap, green olives.

My H did compliment me & said I took better care of my car than my sister did hers. True. I told him, my car was better taken care of when, I had an on sight mechanic.

Good statement - bad statement - I don't know - but it was true.

[JCJ]

What sport are you taling about?? American Football?