I asked my W straight-up once why she had no emotion over this whole matter. She said she'd already gone through it long before she ever told me.
She also said that if I'd been paying better attention to her comments and behavior then we could have avoided this whole thing - so now one of the biggest emotions I suffer is regret. (I wish she would have told me in plain English but I guess they don't work that way.)
Thought-stopping. Hmmm.... Doing other activities seems to help me because at least I'm feeling happy about something. Staying alone is the absolute worst. I have a bad tendency to ruminate about stuff. Thinking long-term helps too. I know things took a long time to get to this stage and any recovery or fix will take equally as long. Looking down the road a year to a year and a half (one month for each year of M) takes the pressure off today.
Mine did the same thing.
I can relate to this also. I suffer from regret and remorse over this also. I wish I had heard "If this doesn't get better...I'm gonna leave"!
I know that, if it's ever gonna work out for us...it's gonna be a long time.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
