INTERESTING!!!!

[Treese]

MOOOMMMMMM!!!!!


I just wanted to come get some sympathy and vent...I guess it just helps to write it all out and get it out cause it eats you up inside...

Well, we are on day 10 of not hearing from H at all....no texts, nothing...I guess son did get a voicemail the other day but didn't call him...is he having that much fun on his vacation that he cant call his son...and he missed his baseball game...he never does that...I guess it was more important for him to be with his GF in the woods than spend time with his son...it just really blows my mind....I know I'm not getting any better and I do think about him wayyyy too much but I miss him....the spring time is when we would go buy flowers and spend time outside and go for ice cream...I did spend time with my son yesterday, taught him how to cut the grass...I bought flowers on my own, planted spring bulbs, cleaned up the yard....I'm just so exhausted...I know I can do it and I have no choice but why does he get to go on a 10 day vacation and I get to do nothing...he has to be hiding money somewhere....He gets to go and relax, has not responsibilities, NOTHING!! YES, I admit it, I'm angry, borderline psycho....LOL....but I can't help it...I'm trying not to play the victim but how can you not...we are the ones who are getting the short end of the stick...when he left he told me not to tell the kids he was going on vacation with OW...that they didn't need to know...WTF? I told them, except for my son...who thinks his father does no wrong...

I've been having dreams about him these past 3 nights, disturbing ones....first he went to jail, can't remember what for, then he kept telling me he was in love with OW...I remember her coming where I was and I was calling the police to escort her out...then last night I had a dream he had a newborn...another kid....and the other one I just found out about...so he had 2 kids that were 4 months apart...it was strange cause his kid is almost 10...

I've cried today, cause I guess I really wanted to just see him...I can't explain why..even though I plan on not speaking to him...only communicating through text if he decides to let me know that he is alive and happy and all that crap....I put on a good front in front of the kids for the most part..D16 even told me last night that I was doing great without him...guess my PMA for the most part is at least working with them...

I'm trying to also plan a wedding, and all that goes with that...it's overwhelming at times...

I'm trying to be there for my kids and I guess I've forgotten to take care of me....I plan on calling my attorney this week to get some much needed advice....my H is walking all over me, it's time for a 180....who knows he may be planning something also...

So, I had to come vent....i needed to, sorry for feeling sorry for myself....thanks for listening....


I hope all is well with your family...how is your dad?