Hi LL, no, not pushing any wrong buttons, just making me think...that's always welcome!
One of the things that makes things different in my sitch is that CJ and I have many Mars/Venus things in gender reversal.
For example, CJ is the one with the stellar memory. I mean DETAILS from years and years ago. He is also the one who can't "get in the mood" if things are not great between us.
(and now they are....still not "in the mood" )
LL, CJ has NO trouble digging up incidents from 11, 8, 5, 3 years ago in which I was hurtful to him. He has brought up one particular incident when I called him an idiot for forgetting my vodka at home when we got to a party.
I listen to him tell it, I validate how insensitive, bossy, entitled and belittling I was to him, how I am SOOO sorry to have made him feel that way, that he in NO way deserved to be treated in that manner etc.
Is not my empathy and validation helping him to heal the hurt from those incidents?
When he mentioned the moving thing the other day I got NO sense that there was any reference to last year. It's as though that never happened.
)
for forgetting my vodka at home when we got to a party.
