Thanks to both of you for taking the time out to respond; it means so much to know that we are not alone and that people understand.
I think your H is an egotistical, self-centered and immature bully. That's exactly what he's doing by trying to shatter your self-esteem.
Stuck808; I have had so many people say this to me. And I can see it on one level. Perhaps my H has always been this way? I dont know, it just seems to me that he has changed into an alien; someone who wants nothing to do with me on a personal level. My self-esteem has taken a battering; the things he has said to me about my parenting, lack of care for nurturing the family unit etc. It seems that the enormous 180 turn that I have done with my life has made no impression on him whatsoever..But the truth is, as you say, that I have to do this for my D and myself now.
I feel that we are so far apart but who is to blame? Probably both of us. There is no doubt that OW complicate chances of reconciliation. I really want to get to the stage where I can fully detach so that his actions and words dont provoke an emotional reaction when we talk. I want to get to the stage where I can just organise our D care and then leave the room, where I am not defensive and hurt that he hasnt asked me about my life, how I am coping health wise (back in hospital yesterday for further tests and not even a question of how did it go...)but when my H acts in such an indifferent manner what am I to think? Do I believe what I am seeing and hearing or what is not obvious.
Hard also when he comes into the house , does the gardening, minds our D but whe she has gone to sleep is straight in the car off to his lovers house for the night. I wish I could be more aloof about all of this......
Any advice, is, as always, so appreciated.......thanks to all
