Well, there's a thin line between obsessing and simply thinking out loud about doing something obsessive!
Sure, it is "normal" to feel the way you do. It is what you choose to do that may end up being the problem.
It is fantastic that you are not going to call. Now we just need to help you get to the point where you can stop these thoughts.
Believe me, I have gone down this slippery slope. It was only in the very late fall that I learned that my XH had been dating. Even then, he denied the seriousness of it. Then I read his email about a month ago (and yes, my friends here threw the stalker label on me, too--- rightfully so) and found out that he really misrepresented the relationship.
People here reminded me that I had no claim on him, and what he did was no business of mine. SL, this woman lives about 3 blocks from me. I have been passing by her house for years to get to my gym. Right away I changed my route home. Why put myself through that? I am also very guarded about my facebook friends- I am sure that we have mutual friends and I do not want that connection out there. It is not a matter of not being able to handle myself--- it is that I don't want to waste the time or energy on the thoughts. I go about my life and I don't worry about what anyone else is doing.
I have heard of people wearing a rubber band on their wrists, and each time they start to think about their X they give it a good snap. I never had to do this, but you better believe I would have if necessary.
My good friend on here would write letters to her X and then put them into a box for safekeeping. She never had any intention of sending any of them. She just needed to get some things out. When she was ready, she burned all the letters.
