robx, Thanks for the kick in the @ss... I don't know how to quote excerpts out of here, so I'll do my best to reference items.
1.) Yes... I want a chance. B ut I'm sure that was a rhetorical question. 2.) Yes. The attraction in the beginning was just as strong as the un-attraction is now. You're right. I've done something, but it wasn't being clingy and needy. This latest bit of information "I'm not in love with you." took place last Saturday, so that means I would have been crying off and on now for almost a week. 3.) Yes... she has lost respect because I was negative, critical, controlling (not necessarily of her, but of situations/things), and I drank too much. 4.) Yes... I've lived through the cruel things women say and do before. Actually because I was acting the same way. Funny, when I have acted like I didn't give a sh!t or at least did my own thing, they were annoyingly all over me. 5.) I understand what you mean about being strong, and I believe what you are saying. She even told me about some of her choices in men before. She was attracted to them because her personality is strong and she tends to run over guys. Those that were strong (i.e. her ex), she was attracted to... Unfortunately, sometimes those sorts are also druggies, alcoholics, ho-pimps, abusive, cheaters. She learned that too. 6.) Yes. In the begining, she was ga ga. I was the most intelligent man she ever met. She raved all over town about me. Her parent were ecstatic and I could make her, let's say excite herself with a short quick-witted text or e-mail. 7.) She has probably been either unhappy or at least questioning the relationship since right before the marriage, as we haven't been married long. 8.) Yes... The disposable notion sucks. That love of her life status isn't all it's cracked up to be. And we were going to be together 40 years! Ha. We can't even make it one!
Few things though that I need to start doing: 1.) I know. After all you've said, that is extremely necessary. 2.) I haven't bought her a thing. 3.) I do go to the gym every day at lunch and pump iron, but even with thatshe has told me that I need a life... Go do stuff, get a hobby, don't sit around the house, quit making her my hobby. Funny, I heard that same thing from another ex. That sucks... I guess I'm not the most fascinating sort, but she doesn't do anything either... but I guess that is a moot point. The important thing is that she sees I'M doing something. 4.) I just e-mailed a buddy to go have a drink with after work. She said something about seeing a friend tonight, and I don't want to sit home. 5.) Believe it or not, I haven't been calling, texting or e-mailing at all. It hurts, but I'm refraining. The only episodes of being (needy?) are in the morning and night when I have done the pleading/hugging thing.
So... robx, Let's say I start "doing my own thing" and the space starts to fill in. How do I respond without flying back like a rubber band? Seems like I was very good in getting the girl, but keeping her was another story. Seems like a recurring theme in my life. I can dazzle them with intelligence, wit, charm and even pretty good sex (or so I'm told), but that all doesn't last, and I find myself in this game at which I'm pretty much the equivalent of the water boy.
