WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[MrBond]

"Since my wife had commentewd about how it seemed I was just following scripts from books, I had only been reading after she went to bed. "

Why should you hide this? You're doing it to make yourself a better person. Your W is not. Don't let her be ashamed of what you're doing. Our WAWs constantly say that they are doing what's best by leaving. But are they really? The LBS is the one who actively looks for answers and C, etc. We are the ones who are getting better by facing the problem head on and not running away. Don't be ashamed of that. If she comments, shrug it off. You don't have to let her affect you like that. She might even be ashamed of what she's doing and just needed a way to belittle your efforts so she leaves guilt-free.

"My wife says I just see part of it and has a lot to learn."

She's got alot to learn too. Any one who claims to be hanging on to so much "anger" for so long after trying things on their own has alot to learn themselves. Running away is never the answer.

"She said when she moved out she was relieved that she escaped. That was because she felt her husband would stop her if he had a chance."

That's exactly what this behavior is. Escaping. Running away rather than facing the issue because that's the easier way out. You can see how even she is blaming the H. A breakup is always the fault of both parties. Never one. That's why both people need to be honest about their roles and deal with it head-on.

Surrender and running away is never an option.