Feelings are always such scary things for me as they have brought nothing but pain. It has been so long since I've shut them down that I don't know what they are. I shut them down back when I was 12 due to the situation I was in (growing up in the projects). I thought they were opened back up when I met my wife, but they got shut back down after when my depression sunk in (according to my therapist).
Here is where you need to do some work. You are applying coping techniques that you used as a boy to the same situations you are running into as a man. You need to change some of your thinking. Did you ever get "Learned Optimism" ? I promise it will help you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
