fb2, I was assertive when he asked back. I asked if he really wanted/was prepared to work with me to "fix" things and he said yes. Does he sound like is? I dont want him back in the house. I still feel him as a stranger. I would need some kind of small porgress before we would do such a move. Right now I am thinking I will move the OTHER way, away from him... I think the time we will spend together these next days will show me how to proceed. K
FG, good to know you are around. I am not giving up now. I am just reaching my destination. There is a big difference there. Timing is essential. I think we missed our time slot. It can happen you know. A little too late maybe? K
I definetly thing these next few days will be a deciding factor in which way things will go.. you are rigt there and very wise (intuitive?). Timing is EVERYTHING! In astrology anyway and yes, reaching our destination.. almost regardless of the twist and turns, the plans we made, the dbing, the worry, sleepless nights, crying, laughing, dreaming and waiting.. we are only NOW getting there.. not quite, but nearly ! Hmm.. still got that bet on May for things improving! We'll be out of the woods and skipping through the meadow by October... xxx
I did not have sex with that woman in the White House
There is a decay of moral fiber in our society. People and marriages, sadly, have become a disposable commodity. When our digital cameras become obsolete in a year or so, we toss them out and buy a new one.
Sadly, marriages are falling under that category. In some ways, I think people are engaging in what I call serial monogamy: you stay with one person until you get bored then throw them away for something new and exciting.
Whose to blame?
Is there a right or wrong?
We have reality TV now where 25 women vie to tear the shorts off of a single bachelor; we have doctors banging doctors in ORs and call rooms; we have 'desperate housewives' sleeping with the 18 year old landscaper; and don't forget those daily shows where we watch people beating the snot out of each other as they are informed on live TV that their wife is sleeping with their best friend.
Whose to blame?
Are we?
Should someone who wants out be 'forced' to stay in an unhappy relationship...using religious pressure or feelings of guilt?
Kalni..everytime you...we....hear of another neighbor involved in an affair...or, another friend going through a D...our wound is torn open a little bit. 60/40.
Is there an answer? Should couples go thru counseling before getting married? Should married couples be forced to go thru 'atraction classes' every 5 years like doctors must earn 50 credits of continuing medical education each year to keep on top of the game? Should marriages be for 5 years only with an option to 're-up' for another 5?
?
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Very interesting discussion..point of views.....good food for thought. I agree with FB2 on being more decisive. I see alot of limbo around. However, it is easy to be a monday morning quarterback. I look or read some sitches and hold back on my comments....however I remember I was not as decisive as i should have been. When we went to piecing I jumped in right away...in retrospect I should have waited like K is doing. As far as open wounds are concerned...I just tend to shake my head incredulously when i hear stories....i have lost my innocence....i used to thin everyone was good....but i have seen alot of selfishness first hand and on these boards. I remain confident however, that there are good people all around us and it is a question of timing and opening our eyes and hearts. Happy easter K...
I think it is good that you know how important it is to love yourself. After all we have gone through it is so easy to not think much of ourselves. I also know that you can't change someone. It can't be I really like/love this person but they have to change before I give them a chance. It is your choice, take them as they are or not.
However while a relationship grows, people do have issues that crop up and those need to come to a resolution at some point. That is concern for the other person that makes those changes happen.
Hang in there. Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yes happy Easter.. I hope you are doing something nice this evening.. is tonight a big night, or is it tommorow? Thinking of you and sending wishes that we shall get our direction clear one of these days (soon, soon !)
Hi Maria, just popped by to wish you Easter Blessings. I guess today is your Good Friday, a sad and sorrowful day but with the hope and promise of a new dawn. A new beginning. Wishing you and your family a very Happy Easter. Here's to new beginnings,whichever path they take.
I hope your Easter weekend goes well. I read what you said about love and relationships and completely agree. Your H has to decide to work in the relationship or there will simply be no relationship at all.
You can love him forever, but you can't stay in a relationship that has you reaching out and him resisting to do so. It is a give-and-take or nothing.
