Of course I have said things that I didn't mean because I was mad or hurt... But if pressed on the issue, I was always able to step back and say how I really felt. It seems women cannot separate this. When they are mad and say something, they mean it... And when pressed... they mean it! I know she has been hurt, and there is a ton of brick and mortar in her wall. She always said that once she is pushed too far, then it is impossible for her to come back. That is my fear. My hope is that she still loves me and is protecting her heart from further possible damage. If she opens it, she's vulnerable for a crushing blow, so it's better to close all the way and lock it... Put it in mothballs so to speak until her girls are raised and she has moved on. If that's the case, then this is fruitless. Part of me wants to shout "F*@k it!" I'm not taking this! But the real core of me loves her more than anything.
