One thing my IC said was very good if I'm dealing with BPD is that I started setting some very clear boundaries.
She said part of my problem was that during the infancy of her EA/PA I was basically enabling the behavior by distancing myself emotionally and allowing W to act very disrespectful towards me and our M with impunity.
My attempted boundary-setting during that period came across as too overbearing and wasn't effectively communicated to where someone with BPD can understand it.
So now I've taken the 3 step process of owning my feelings, stating the fact, then offering the choice.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
