Glam, you did the right thing doing your taxes. Enabling him by bailing him out is not the answer. He should absolutely not go off AD's on his own. But, this is his journey, let him take it. Only he can seek the help he needs and make the changes necessary. Live your life with your children. Either he can come with or not.
Glam, You did the right thing by filing your taxes. You are not his mother. You had given him a number of opportunities to get w/you and complete them. Shame on him if he can't set a clock and be on time.
As for taking 4 sleeping pills...what was he thinking? He's got a lot of work to do to get his life back on track.
Glam, it's time for you to take care of yourself and you family. You cannot continue to enable this man. He's got to come to the cross road and make a decision and this time, you cannot help him.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well h is mad. Refused to go to C. Said what does it matter you always go off and do your own thing. I am sure referring to the taxes. Now we owe the C anyway. He said go on your own, which is not an option for MC. The C said if he refuses to just cancel.
He wouldn't budge would not go. Believe me I just wanted to get in my car and drive and never return. I stayed late at my work, since I have a ton of projects to finish and then a little shopping later.
When I was talking to h, he said are you on your way home I said no, then he would just hang up the phone. So childish. I came home after 9pm.
H gave me the list of what he did for the kids. I said thank you. He said there is no food in the house. There is, but all healthy stuff. Remember I am detoxying for the next few weeks, so there won't be all the other stuff we would normally have.
He said I am leaving Glam. I didn't say a word, nor did I walk him out. H called after he left and asked if D4 has school on Friday. She never does, but that was his question. I said no. There was silence on the phone and then he said talk to you tomorrow. Whatever that means (interpret as see you Sunday).
It's ok I don't need that "skuttlebutt" around me the way he is. Oooops I am finding myself not being attracted to his character any longer. In his mind, I am solely the problem. Then why doesn't he just get away from me. Oh duh, he already did that.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
He's have a temper tantrum....don't buy into it. Continue moving along as you have been. He knows he screwed up on the issue of the tax filing and he's a bit angry w/himself.
Also, why should you be stocking your house w/food that he likes? He needs to learn that when in your home, you eat what is there. If he wants junk food, he can very well eat at home or bring it w/him. You are not responsible for his meals or snacks.
Glam, he's finding out the hard way (now) that you are not going to baby him and be his mother. He's relied on you for so much that it's very hard for him to understand that you are not going to sit around and wait on him to wake up, come over, do the right thing. He's got to grow up. As for his depression....he needs to do something about that, but again, that's not your problem....you are not his mother, you are his wife who is there to listen and offer support right now.
Enjoy your day! He'll get over it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
GG It is a long road you continue to do amazingly well though I like the way you can intepret the MLC language(see you on sunday) you have to just continue taking care of yourself If the MLCer doesnt like the boundries..they will have to adjust to what is healthier for everyone involved they will
keep the Faith peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Thanks Snodderly and Peace. I feel liberated in a lot of ways. I was thinking while I was out shopping what am I doing? Why am I putting up with his bad behavior? It feels good to set some boundaries.
The first was the taxes. Look I gave him every opportunity to make an appearance or to at least communicate what our plans should be since he did not show on Tuesday. I informed him I would be filing separately if I did not hear from him. He choose to ignore any and all communication. He may have been in a sleep coma, but then that is NOT my problem. I have to worry about me and the kids and nobody else.
You are right Snodderly, what was he thinking taking 4 sleeping pills. The dose is 1. He has always gone overboard on the dose and doesn't seem to get that, it can be harmful to his body. I am into the more natural way and very rarely take any kind of medication other than vitamins and herbs.
I do feel good though. Yes I am still sad we are in this place almost 3 years later, but I can no longer be stuck. I was praying and asking God what to do and the answer seems to be get busy and have fun.
I am going to break out my inline skates this weekend. I haven't been on them in over 10 years when I used to skate the beaches in CA. Today the kids and I will look for skates for them and we are going to have some fun!
I also have bowling, the gym and movies on the agenda too this weekend with the kids. Life is meant to live not spending time being mad at others and sulking because you have all these problems.
Peace thanks for your post. I appreciate the encouragement. It seems h and I have come a long way and now back to this.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Thanks BM for stopping by. By suprise, h just stopped by. Grabbed some paperwork for his car and said he would take d5 to run errands with him. I said great h.
He said he tried calling me. Oh my phone is in my purse and didn't hear the calls.
I am actually suprised he is here. Not sure what to make of it. He seems like he is still mad. Not his usual self, but at least he is talking to me. Nothing lovey dovey. It's all business. That's ok, less drama to deal with.
It's great when you have your expectations at zero, then you are never dissappointed.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Yeah, just let him work through it and try to stay out of his way. Let him be mad, its really himself that he is angry with - only he doesnt know it! LOL!
