Hey Kat.. I know I keep going on about Venus retrograde and everything and yes, it affects us all, certainly internally, with affecting our feelings.. BUT.. it may not affect you noticeably (as in externally) unless.. it contacts one of the personal planets in your chart (Sun, Moon, Venus, etc).
For my ex.. he is in an exact Pluto-Venus transit right now. Pluto is squaring his Pluto-Venus and Venus in the sky was, last week, sqaured to pluto and therefore, opposite his own Venus and Pluto.. so this is a huge pattern affecting his relationships (Venus is about how we 'relate' to others) and as I am one of his significant others (as he told BMF W he loves me).. then I can see things happening with me and him along this timeline. So its more dramatic for him and therefore, for me. For me.. I am having dramatic changes, because Uranus is on my Sun and Mercury right now.. and Venus and Mars are coming up to conjunct Uranus next week with the Moon.. so I am expecting something to happen...
The Piscean just texted me.. so say that he was dreaming about me, that I was a crazy amazing woman, that kind of thing. I feel sad about it.. I've opened a can of worms there, but how was I to know as he said "I never got over you".. I didnt expect all of this. Now I feel awkward about it, as I dont know how I feel, I dont want to upset him, or hurt him and yet we've had barely any contact for 12 years! I need to think about it..So Kat.. he knows how he feels and what he wants and Venus Retrograde in Pisces literally bought a past Piscean love back to him, but I dont feel as strongly as he does about it. So, it can be like that.
but...no reply yet from my ex after I texted him back yesterday (I also signed 'me' for the first time in 8 months). Gosh I miss him more, after so much contact lately and seeing him 3 times in 10 days.
...its hard, the texting.. then the gaps. What am I to think? I suppose I should think myself lucky.. he invited me out just Sunday, less than a week ago and then on to the next place at 11pm, instead of letting me go home as I was going to. And it was me he wanted to sit in a car with and hug, and even left his brother to walk home so that he could do that! And he held me close, full of emotion and held my hand and said he just needed some more thinking time (so sounds like a definite maybe) And he told BMF W he loved me. So I should feel blessed and glad and optimistic... so why do I feel so jittery?
yep.. I am losing faith he is ever coming back.. how long does someone need to take to decide goddamnit !?? Am I not worth it? Should he not be beating down my door to get to me? If he loves me.. I think the thing with the Piscean makes me see it differently, I hugged him and held his hand, but I was weighing it up, but had NO desire to jump into an R with him (I agree he sounds needy, both my BFFs said the same!).. so perhaps its just not quite there for for ex either?
Funny how I got to hear he said I love you, I got the full IDLYA at the bomb and he was adamant (said so himself) that it wasnt a case of ILYBINILWYA, nope, just IDLYA. So time certainly changes things hey.
Morning by the way !! Ahh.. hope you are having a nice day off...
Get off the elevator,it's only going down. Enough with that. You SHOULD be wiser by now. K
Spent the morning watching movies of my kids when they were 2-3 yrs old. Cried a lot, they are getting older so fast... Seriously, I am in pre MLC phase. I wonder what I will do when I hit "crazy".
..or maybe like you, I am close to giving up, or accepting its not going to happen.. theres only so much of it you can take, you know? Like you said about H.. what has he done to fix it to get closer to you, to make an effort and prove he wants to at least try? I know my situation is different, but its been rumbling on for just as long (coming up for two years end May/June?)
Heres the general stars for us all today... Whew! After a long slow slide down the muddy hill of the Zodiac, Venus has her wheels straightened out and is ready to do what she does best: fire up your love life. And in Pisces, Venus is particularly strong. Today (and the next few days) can be prime to pump new life into a relationship, or get out and start a new one. Make sure your seat belt is on.
Sometimes I think you are crazy. Seriously. You have all this contact and you hear all these things and now you want MORE MORE MORE, NOW!!! Sweets, you need to work on your patience. When you had no contact you complained about that, how could he not, why didnt he miss you, why , why, why and now that he does, you are going "why not more, it is not enough, I want it now...". Do you realise the patern? You do it ALL the time for 18 months now. K
..but look at his pattern. I had all this contact before, he called me every night, saw me 3 times a week, spent the weekend with me and took me out with those same friends and then 2 weeks later.. stopped all contact and started seeing helen. And I heard things before, remember? Last February, he told BMF he thought he had made a mistake in leaving me and started contacting me again.. well 14 months later, we are still apart. He talked abuot me all the time last summer to G... he started dating her in August. He told me in November he missed me and just needed some time. That was 5 months ago. He said at Christmas he didnt feel for her what he felt for me.. he still didnt see me for 4 months. He told BMF W on Monday he loved me, when she said well why not give her a 2nd chance? he said, I dont know I dont know.
I'm not crazy, I guess I dont 'trust' him anymore to act on his feelings. He says one thing, but does another.
As everyone says to me, he got closer to you before, then dumped you a 2nd time for her.. he's capable of doing that. He has toyed with me for 18 months..I'm not on a rollercoaster, I'm on a merry go round !!!
I guess I am building up resentments the longer he dithers and also as you said today on your thread K, sometimes, they just do too much damage? But thanks K and Julia, for the encouragement!
But yes, I know.. patience.. etc.. he's processing.. yes, keep waiting.. what choice do I have? I still love him.
Don't worry you are not alone in the "waiting" department. It is by no means easy. They just have to make up their minds or get to the right place to make up their minds. In the meantime, keeping being that wonderful fun girl that we all know you are.
Blessings today.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
