I'd be grateful if anyone could give me some help/advice with my situation.
My wife decided to move out after one year of marriage as we were falling out on a fairly regular basis. We wen't to counselling for a couple of sessions but she decided that it wasn't for her. We've now been legally separated for around 9 months and on the whole it's been amicable.
We've had no contact whatsoever for the past 4 months and I was just managing to get back to some sense of normality when my wife turned up on my doorstep the other day. We had a nice chat for a couple of hours and have had a little contact since. My wife has told me that she misses the sames things about our relationship as I do but thinks maybe too much water has passed under the bridge so to speak.
I know from reading Michelle's book that it would be wrong for me to get excited and think things were getting back on track, which could scare my wife off. At the same time, I feel I can't sit back and do nothing!! I do genuinely feel that my wife misses me as she says but am unsure as to her intentions re our marriage.
Hi, welcome back. You are right, you shouldnt get very excited and scare her off. Hopefully some things about why things went bad are clear in your head by now depending on how honest you've been to yourself.
If you love your wife and think she is the one you want, you have a chance here. I dont know what kind of little contact you have, but my advice would be to keep that contact light and fun and maybe suggest to do things together that are purely fun. But in a non pushing way. Like for example, when/if you talk on the phone, have something prepared in your head and suggest she could join you, like "I'll be meeting with X and his wife tomorrow night at the x bar or whatever, you are welcome to come" and leave at that. See how she responds and take it from there. Or say "I want to watch this movie playing, you care to go?". And if she does, treat her as a dear friend and nothing else. NO talks, no questions, just light and fun.
She said she misses you and that is a good thing. But first, are you sure you love her and do you know what to avoid from happening again? What caused the fall out? And dont be in a hurry, time is not against you at this point. K
