Agree fb2...we may want to add aging to the reasons for straying. Some folks who pay too much attention to what they look like and who are perhaps worried about the ability to attract the opposite sex....alot of selfishness around these days.
Unfortunately this happens to the MLC WAS - particularly W's just before they turn 40 and they hear their biological clock ticking. They think ... me, me, me, ... At any rate there's some good input above on unconditional love, self-love, boundaries, etc.
K, In your case I still don't understand why your H still lives separately when he loves you and does not want a D. What does he want? It's clear that you'd like to stay married as well. So why are you not being calmly assertive in this regard to end the stalemate? Why wait even another day to get this situation resolved? It's all very puzzling to me. If there's one BIG thing I regret not doing its being assertive with my W on the very first D treat by asking her to either start working with me or get out right away - its took me a long time to realize this of course like many of us here who struggled in Limboland. Surely you too are a lot wiser after all this time?
