First off I had a good time with my friend, having dinner and then shopping for groceries and such. Had to buy a new vac. cleaner, because my son gave xh mine awhile back. Vac. cleaners are so high! Anyway also thank you to everyone for sticking with me. The guy I was talking about did email me back, just something simple. Still didnt ask me out to dinner though. I guess Kerry and I will have to go fishing for my first date.lol
Now, AmyC, I will try my best to do this. I will list some things as I remember them. I dont know if it is what you want, but I will try. First, truthfully my xh was a good man. (I know you said the bad things but I will get there.), he was a good provider, not once did he let us down in that way. He always took care of us money wise. The main issue was HIS LYING! *xh lied constantly. He would lie about the simplest things and I would have to cover for him. He would take me by surprise alot. It was embarrassing at times. I probably couldnt count the times he lied to me and I DIDNT catch him. *From Lying comes DISTRUST. I dont think I ever trusted him fully. He even said this after he left, he said I never trusted him. AND he is right. I would trust him with my life, that kind of trust, but in the last few years, especially after becoming a cop, I wouldnt trust him alone with other women or, in some cases even with money. *His attitude! Attitude with me and or our son. Yes I can be a pushover when it comes to my son, what mother isn't, but my xh did not know how to talk softly or displine without SCREAMING and CURSING. I especially noticed this AFTER he became a COP! If my xh did not get his sleep out he was awful to live with. (my son is the same way). I have read up on NPD and I think they both (xh and son) have these symptoms. Lying is a BIG ONE with this disorder. Stretching the truth especially. Son DOES THIS TOO! XH became very cocky in the later years. He knew EVERYTHING and I knew nothing. That is the way I felt. He was NOT SENSITIVE to my feelings. Never wanted to talk about things. He would sometimes give me a few minutes and then that was it, the conversation was over when HE said it was over. If I was not finished talking, too bad. I would say about 75% of the time he was like this.
I had to live with the cop in him. I lived with the ups and downs of his life, as I was suppose to. For better or worse right? I lived with him through his years as a Fire Chief, which was also stressful. This new girl will NOT have to face what I did in that aspect, because he is no longer a cop and no longer a Fire Chief. He no longer has that stress. He gave ALL that up a few months before he left me and our son. His words: "Too Much Stress....I Was Unhappy, Had To Leave".
Ok, AmyC, is this what you wanted. These are the main things/ways that I feel like he let me down. They may be cheesy but they hurt. I may have added too much, sorry if I did.
P.S. Who needs a therapist when they have Amy and the crew.
