New around here...

[hopeful_cb]

I feel a little better from venting last night and been busy today not focusing on it. I am really glad I didn't speak to H yesterday. I was feeling way too emotional and angry.

The way I feel seems to come in waves. Sometimes overwhelming. Although the highs and lows seem to be a little farther apart nowadays. I can only see this as being good.

We'll see what its like when I got back home next week. I have a feeling I may feel worse before I feel better again. It will be hard to go home to an empty house and very sad. Also I wont have much to distract me so need to work hard at continuing my GAL activities and find some more to pick up too.

I don't know if I will see H when I return. If he follows his patterns he will want to meet up for a meal or something but I dont know if i should continue doing this? or if i should turn him down? I guess I need to think about this.

I also think H is going to arrange to come and pack all of his things up to 'move' to his new place where he is staying now. He has so far only taken a few bags of clothes and some dvd's and things to keep him busy. I know of course he will need to take his things, but the separating of 'stuff' seems so final. It makes me very sad and I know will be very hard for me.

So I am not looking forward to these things but will handle them as best I can bc I have no other choice.