Holding onto Hope

[In Limbo]

Sorry meliru97, for some reason I didn't see your post when I posted last night.

I haven't mentioned the charge to him at all yet. When he's home this weekend I think I'll bring it up as a concern over a duplicate charge (two charges in same night, same bar, two different locations) and see what he says. Last weekend he did mention whether we should set up a budget for him now that he's out of the house so that later I don't end up feeling resentment. I'm not ready to separate accounts just yet because I'm hoping he'll be back, but if I'm really honest - I also don't want to lose visibility. Guess that tells me how much I'm still holding on, no? Ugh! One baby step forward and fifteen backwards is what I feel right now.

Bad day today as we had a little disagreement on the phone over me taking my car in for service and the total being so high. He didn't think the service was needed and I know he's upset because I went against his wishes. Oh, well.

Then he emails me a message just a few minutes ago that just says "Google Maroma". Evidently it's a honeymoon type resort in Mexico. No other verbiage. What is that all about?!?! Man, it's hard enough not to read into every little thing without H sending that kind of stuff. Guess I'll just see what happens this weekend.

I really gotta get moving on GAL because I can't keep up this emotional roller coaster. It's killing me and it's killing my kids too. They know I'm sad, they know I'm not behaving like myself and I'm taking it out on him. Funny, the anger or maybe resentment I have against H right now is not so much over EA OW, but more that he has no responsibilities right now and I'm stuck here with all of them. He doesn't even call his children. I think that's all part of MLC. Is that true?