Piecing? I wish. But, no, I couldn't call it that. In my mind, to be piecing a couple would have had to verbalize the intent in some way, shape, or form. That has not been done here.
Do I think he lives with regret? Yes. Do I think that part of him wants this relationship? Again, yes. Do I think he will follow through with the work that it will take for him to have a healthy relationship? Jury is out on that one. I see him taking the easy way out- the quick fix, the adoring "girlfriends." Heck, I don't even know where he stands with that. He could actually be busy working on his house, or he could just have other plans that he isn't going to admit to. I suppose if I were anywhere near piecing this would not be an issue.
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C, you realize you 'overthink' things. But when do you realize that? In hindsight? Later? the next day? Or hopefully do you realize it AS you are overthinking? If that is the case you can stop it. Laugh at yourself if you have too but stop and engage yourself in something else.
I suppose the problem is that I usually realize it later. Like, I don't know why I didn't call him back on Sunday. He asked me to, and instead of taking it as his desire to talk to me I backed away from it because I was afraid of giving it away that I was hurt. I should have just called in the first place, instead of the text. I know that I just wanted to know that he was coming here for me, too. That if the kids were gone and he knew it, he must really want to see me if he'd still make the trip. That is just too much thought wrapped up in a simple act. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing by staying out of the conversation. I didn't think about the many ways I could have handled it that did not include assuming and hurt feelings.
Sigh, I guess the problem isn't overthinking as much as it is worst-case-scenario thinking.
Speak up, speak plainly, speak sooner. All that without pursuing. Damn, this is hard!!!!
I wonder if I will ever feel confident that he is "in," as in really and truly. We've had so many false starts and stops. I can't help but wonder if the stops were caused by my negativity or the fact that he just wasn't that into it. Each time I regroup and then tell myself that I could have done better. And then we get here again.
