I'm trying to hang on to the thought that I'm becoming a better person through all of this. For the most part I can see it and feel it . . . there are just times when I find it hard to get out of the funk of missing him.
I was thinking about it and I've only been DB'ing for a few weeks. It's going to take longer than that for things to start improving. I have to keep that in mind when I see him or things happen.
I'm still trying not to read every little thing that he says or does. I'm also working on trying not to focus on what he may be doing in this new life of his. It's killing me to go from being so highly involved in his life to being an outsider. It's also really hard for me to understand what the heck is going on in his mind. I realize that's not something that I may ever know and that even putting any energy towards it is a waste of time. I know this in my head, but my heart isn't listening so well.
