Letting the shoreline go

[mockers2]

Good morning ~

Thank you Ellie, Opt and Jackie.

Ellie - what a great idea! I will keep it in mind for when $$ is a little less tight. H is still jumping through the hoops to be able to begin working again, so we're running behind this month. I have slowly started doing more things for me (belong to a girl's night out group - we take turns hosting at our homes, and sometimes go out). I have realized that no time for me = burnout, so this has to be a part of my schedule. Thank you for the reminder. Until recently, it never occured to me to get a sitter so I could go out. I had always reserved that for me and H to go out.

Optimist - thank you for visiting. I'm looking forward to seeing how things are going on your thread.

Jackie - Thank you, again for sticking with me. You are right about the rush of emotions - through this whole process - making a person unsteady, questioning every little step. I'm not sure how much of this has ever felt like second nature to me. Looking back, alot of the time in our R, I have been fearful. About just about anything you could think of. Pathetic. This is one area I am really working on. I'm tired of living this way - for me, not just for our R.

I tried what you and Holdingon suggested last night, and it seemed to work pretty well. H and our oldest child were sitting on the couch watching Lion King. I asked if I could sit with them. D said no. I went and sat on the other couch. I about two minutes, D came and got me to sit with them. Thank you for the idea. This will just take time, just like everything else.

H will go out with his friend tonight. So we'll see. I'm planning to be all smiles and keep my big mouth shut and have a good night with the children. Just hope he doesn't stay out late (makes me sick to think about it! )

Positives:
1. H was very tired and went to bed early. I was OK with it (didn't spiral into negative thoughts) and got alot of laundry done.
2. H and I had a good conversation this AM about $$. (A source of stress right now.)
3. I called H to say ILY and have a good day, and he seemed to be pleased.

Here's a good quote I found (salvaged form the great garage clean out):

Attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people say or do. It is more important than apperance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is to play the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our attitudes.

Charles Swindoll

Thining of all of you and keeping you in my prayers. Thank you for posting here. I appreciate it very much.