Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Common phrase lately: "everything happens for a reason".

Tuesday night my cousin came home complaining she twisted her ankle. Didn't look all that well so I prepped an ice bag and kept an eye on her all night. Wll, long story short, she caved and we went to the ER and the end result is a broken ankle and foot.

Since I had my "visitation" with the boys at night I texted STBX of the situation in case I might have been running late. Mesages went back and forth, surprisingly of care and concern, and not to worry about being on time.

Took boys bowling again, all that can be done until the weather is more "spring-like". There was a party there and all lanes were in use and delayed us 25 minutes. As 9pm (drop-off time) neared I called STBX and let her know that we were finishing up our last game and would be about 10 minutes late. Again, "don't worry, actually just drop them off by me".

I did. As boys were entering house I hear her ask "where's Dad?", so I poke my head around from my truck and say I'm right here (trying not to look at OM's car sitting there). She's leaning over the porch sill with this glow like a high-school girl looking for some sort of daily crush person? I just ask, you got the boys, she says yes (all cheery) and says thanks, I say thanks and head out.

Not more than 5 minutes later, she calls. Clarifies that her sister in law is not having twins as it was a April fools gag. I simply said oh, well I figured that. I then mentioned my concern of the night that S10 'ratted-out' S12 whom was supposed to have a fight with some kid after school today. She said, yeah, I heard something about that and I will say something to the teacher when I meet with her tomoorow. I ask meet, for what? She says, his anual evaluation that I do every year as normal. I say, oh, well this year it's not exactly normal and wish I would have known about it. She then said she'll let the school know to sen me copies of everything and to text her my address. (Umm hi, my address is on like 20 thousand court papers )

Anyway, I text it. She replies thanks. I calmly released my angst of not knowing and "sorry for being testy, really tired. But just to be clear, you and I are done with eachother, but will always be parents together". For some reason, this just either did not sink in, or once again all she's looking for is a fight, and I had to re-itereate the same message several different ways until it was finally good-nite.

So this morning she texts asking how my cousin is doing. I simply say she's ok. She then replies "good waht was up with your messages last night?" I explained several times there was no attitude or anything, no "deal" with anything. So again, I said I have an interest and a say where the kids are concerned and that will always be even tho we're over. This just rewinds the calander like 6 months back with comments like, "I didn't realize we were together or that you ever wanted to be" and the famed "how can we be together when you like me one day and hate me the next?".

Good lord, what part of it's over does she not understand? I even had to put it that bluntly! I seem to have gotten the "final word" in edgewise by saying "I didn't meant that negatively (we're over) and there's no sense in any hate or arguement. What's done is done, let's just make it the best for the kids."

I don't understand it. We're in the thick of a DIVORCE she initiated. SHE left me for and has been with someone else directly in front of our kids for 8 gosh darn months and yet still holds all this angst, all this need to argue and beat a dead horse that's been beaten so much a volture wouldn't even touch it, and yet now that I make it clearly known that I have no desire to pursue the matter of our marriage any further with her and torment myself any more bu doing so, SHE has an issue with that? And to have the nerve and dig up actions of months past as reason we can't be together, but if I fix that "maybe we could"? WTF?

Let me ask this, when the WAS rollercoaster ride is in progress, is the track so rough that there's a severe head trauma incurred? I mean for the love of god. Do you honestly mean me to tell me that several thousand dollars in to a court proceedings, our children pushed to the edge of their emotional limit, and in-law relations that will be forever shattered and NOW all the sudden, "hey, let's be buddies, let's converse civily and casually, don't you want me back?" all the while did I mention SHE STILL LIVES WITH ANOTHER MAN!?!?!

Court next Tuesday is shaping up to be a interesting day at best.