Toward the end of February my wife of 5 years told me that she wanted a divorce. We had our ups and downs, but as recently as 2 weeks before she made this announcement she posted on her Facebook Page that being married to me was the best thing that ever happened to her. We have two young kids.
Part of the problem is that I have a disease. Not a big deal now that I am diagnosed (I was diagnosed a week or two before she dropped the bomb). but before I was diagnosed it made me really fatigued and irritable. I now know that my wife felt that I was joyless, not a good father to our two young kids, anti-social, and that I made her feel that everything she did was not good enough. In my defense I was really worn down by a physical condition and really tried to make her feel loved, and tried to have fun with the kids.
Anyway, this came, for me, out of nowhere. We were in counseling a year ago briefly, and we had certainly had some real rough patches, but I didn't know how bad she was feeling. Our friends are all shocked. We were a good couple. We really loved each other and even more we liked each other. She was my best friend.
She has served me papers, proposed terms of a divorce and told me she does not want to work on anything. No counseling. Nothing. I have my suspicions that there might be someone else, just not sure if it started before or after she asked for a divorce.
Anyway I have made a ton of mistakes in the past two months. I have begged her. I have argued with her. I have constantly checked in with her. And I have been a wounded puppy whenever she comes around. I read Divorce Busting and have ordered the Divorce Remedy.
Any advice in the short term? My plan is to give her space and to focus on being happy and a good Dad. I am letting her plan her own post-divorce life and not weighing in. I know she feels that her life has been defined by being my wife, so I am letting her have the freedom to see what it is she wants. What else? Any help appreciated. I love my wife very much and even if she is with some other guy I desperately want her back.
