Puppy....the road you are about to go down will be worse and more painful than anything you could have imagined...so do be prepared for that, get yourself as healthy as possible to manage it, get into IC now (if you aren't already) or find a divorce coach or a divorce support group...this will be invaluable to you as you go through the process. Please don't fool yourself into thinking that you can handle it without some sort of support (coaching, IC, or group support). Then also get your kids into IC or find them a kid's of divorce support group. Get these ducks lined up now so that when its time and you need them, they are all lined up.
Please don't ignore this advice.
I don't say this very much, but I work for a divorce attorney and I know what I'm talking about here. The people who have the hardest time are those who do not immediately get support and therapy. Church is great but it isn't enough. This is a common mistake people make - to think that their church and pastor can support them during this time. They can, but you need more specialized support.
What happens when people don't get mental and emotional health support during divorce, is that they end up using their attorney as their counselor, and that is never good. First of all, that means you are paying your attorney's rate for counseling, which should be half as much if you go to a real counselor. Second of all, attorneys are not mental health professionals, and they just simply cannot provide you with emotional support in the way that you need. It is their job to remain distant from the emotional aspects of your case. They can't get wrapped up in YOUR emotions or else they cannot do their job for you. It happens all the time though so I wanted to warn you now....get an IC lined up and don't talk about your pain and suffering or anything that is not a legal issue with your attorney.
If you do these things for yourself and the kids (and recommend them to Mrs. P too) you will be so much better off when the process is over. You will also learn how to manage and handle all the roller coaster emotions you are going to be going through, and even though you've already been through so much, its going to get worse so just know that going in so you won't be caught off guard.
At the end of the process, if you do it right and get support where you can, then you will come out ok.
In the meantime, I would also advise that you constantly pray for Mrs. P to "do the right thing" as well as yourself. This may or may not have an affect upon her, but it can't hurt, can it? And praying for her is and always will be the "right thing" for you to do.
You're going to be poor, beaten down and broke at the end of this...but then a new day will dawn in your future....that day will bring a whole new life to you with the possibility of renewed happiness and joy....and then eventually the possibility of happiness within a committed relationship again.....but you have quite a long road to go through first so keep reaching out for help....to us, to God, to your family and friends, and especially to mental health professionals who specialize in what you are going through.
Buckle up...but also, keep that glimmer of hope in the future at the back of your mind....it will be what pulls you through the nights...
