Until you learn to let go, you can not move forward. I hate to see you torturing yourself like you do.
Why don't you set yourself some goals. Pick 3 things you want to do for yourself and post them on here. Then it will give you incentive to do them. Once you get those 3 goals done, then post 3 more.
Also, put a rubberband around your wrist. Everytime you start thinking about your xh and ow or want to snoop, snap it. I bet you learn real quick that you don't need the hassle of having them on your mind so much. I used to do this when I had the urge to call my stbx. Believe me, after a few welps on my wrist I stopped even thinking about calling. Once you learn to let go, life does go smoother.
Like I have said, I know somewhere inside that confused, upset woman is a strong one. You can do this. Let go of the past and work on the present. Don't even worry about the future right now. Take it one day at a time. Each day you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself it is going to be a good day. If you don't want to do the rubberband thing, then each time you start to think about your xh then find something else to occupy your mind.
