My H just called. He said my FiL is ok, that he tells him that whatever will be will be, trying to "soothe" him. Funny thing is I think H believes that. Maybe he (H) will get affected by the sitch, who knows...?
Of course, if my SiL really had an affair, makes things clear why she kept away from me all this time. Ironically, she was the first one I told my suspicions about H having an affair...
The only thing I feel is I want to give my kids the "right attitude" about life and relationships. Because to me, it is evident, my FiL's approah of life to "always look for the easy way out" and my MiL's lack of expression of emotions had a lot to do with what's happening to their kids and sadly to their grandkids... K
H will call back in a few, he hasnt told me anything about the affair, I will tell him I know the details when he calls back. What a mess!! Thank God my part of the family has only me to be ashamed of ( ).
Healthy relationships are so hard to find around me these days...
Well, Michelle, the first time she had an affair with her H's friend was 13 years ago. That's how I met her. H brought her at my place to hide her till things calmed down.
I told him I know and he has this attitude of "told them to calm down and think and just do as they want, dont want to take sides". I said it is not bad/mean to tell it as it is to the persons you love and if your sister indeed had another affair, someone should slap her around a bit. Making it easy on her the first time, brought her here probably. She got away once. Twice the same mistake is a bit much. He kept saying "they they they" and I said "listen, it's not they, it's her screwing around, he is been telling me he was trying to approach her since last summer". H was hesitant and said "yes, yes, she cant be justified this time, he really loves her".
WOW!!! What a disappointment!! I would expect my brother to sit me down, as we say, and really give it to me. This is no game... Where are the principles,the ideals? Everything changes to our liking and our convinience. He didndt even mention the affair to me until I did. What a f@cked up mentality in their home...
Wow, sorry to hear that and how strange/awful? Sounds like H's family is much like my ex's family.. dont like to 'make a fuss'. Just stay out of it, what will be will be, emotionally repressed. MY family on the other hand.. would have ALL been on the phone.. dissecting, discussing, berating, trying to help (too much, lol!). Families are wierd.. well, everyone else but your own always is anyway.
Its interesting he called yuo a couple of times tonight (he doesnt normally?) so he must have been upset about it, even if he said its up to them, I'm staying out of it?
I agree thuogh, I dont see any/many healthy R's around me either...
K et al ,People seem to get all this screwing around from their environment - family upbringing, societal norms make them believe that whatever produces some extra dopamine is not selfish, destructive, immoral, stupid, etc.
Agree fb2...we may want to add aging to the reasons for straying. Some folks who pay too much attention to what they look like and who are perhaps worried about the ability to attract the opposite sex....alot of selfishness around these days.
Agree fb2...we may want to add aging to the reasons for straying. Some folks who pay too much attention to what they look like and who are perhaps worried about the ability to attract the opposite sex....alot of selfishness around these days.
Hmm.. I'm not so sure.. I dont think it is just down to being selfish, immoral, destructive, stupid or family background, or wanting to stay dersirable.. all of those things are a 'smoke screen'... it runs alot deeper than that. I believe its just an idiotic compulsion, a symptom of not yet being emotionally mature, a step on your soul's journey and in alot of these cases (including me and my ex) someone comes into your life in order to teach you something about yourself.. these OP are NOT soulmates usually, just teachers.. that in itself can be painful and destructive, but then you cant make an omelette without cracking some eggs. I thikn people here would not describe me as selfish or immoral or stupid.. and yet.. I had an EA that became a brief PA. I learnt ALOT from that experience and from my ex's. I learnt how to love unconditionally (the ex, not the OM!).
Hey K.. any news? I dont know how to read Priya.. except, Friday night/Sat should be a turnaround, as Venus goes direct and there should be a sign of what the Venus R bought us (since Mar 7th) by 22nd April..
).