Beyond Surviving- Living Life Again

[Loving_Life]

OMG- So I'm trying to move on and control myself from relapsing. X called tonight and I talked for like an hour- somehow I invited him to come stay w/me- I live 2,ooo miles away, but in a bigger city than him, which has many opps for his career. If he ever came out here for a show, I told him he could stay with me- I guess that feels desperate- Ok- do I ever need to meet someone new, huh!! . I think he liked talking to me again for a while, but such emotional baggage.. talking to him again. Help. I even talked to his friend too, and invited him to visit. What is my problem. Why can I not let go when someone (X) has not treated me well and it's still about me offering things to him.

So, my new job is great- I'm really happy with that. I'm getting a nice new place of my own soon and adopting a dog too! (my dream- since I lost my last dogs to my X) I better focus on these happy new things.