Dropping the rope

[dl443322]

peace, you can let this guy know that you are not ready for a serious relationship now and you are not sure when you will be so as not to lead him on. You are in control of it. I wouldnt close the door on it either. See where it goes, see how you feel.

[peacetoday]

Hi friends
H over tonight..I feel so bad for him
He lost our biggest account..and it is really just his own fault

he created a fight with my D13..I had to come back to intervene
she felt terrible and he said some mean things to her about me
What is their problem???
I know he was just upset about the business, but there is no way to fix all the messes he continues to make
so I listeneed for a few moments
I encouraged him
I suggested he make amends to D 13..she said she didnt want to see him again(hopefully that will pass)
then he left
I thought I handled him as good as possible
I dont want him back--I am done
but I would like our business to thrive and our kids to feel loved by him
He hasnt hit the bottom yet..he resisting it for so long
but he may be starting to look at reality
He will never have he kind of money he blew on OW again
he has lost his family and his business is not the same as it was pre MLC
He looks mentally ill..His eyes are not the same
he is dead inside
IT is out of my hands
I did what I could to help him through this
He is on his own
peace

[dl443322]

What a wonderful, compassionate person you are! I think you did great. This is his journey and he has to walk through it. His relationship with his children is his to handle.

You are in my prayers.

[SoCo]

I think you did really well. I totally get the looking dead inside. My h looks dead inside. His eyes show no emotion at all. Creepy. Even when he smiles his eyes are dead.

[TRUSTING]

Peace,

Your H sounds just like mine.

[peacetoday]

Thanks BM so and Trusting for visiting
your support means a lot to me:

well xH did call to apoligize to D 13 yestaerday and they talked for a few minutes
so xH does hear me..that is good

I am now changing my communication with XH to
being more authentic as well as caring/vaidadting (to a point)

we are supposed to go to co-parenting counseling and I need to ask XH when we can start

I saw new friend last night
I told him
"I am not ready to date..still getting over my D since it was only
finalized 1 month ago"

he said OK..but I dont know if he heard me b/c we still danced the rest of the night as if I never said it
IM starting to "Feel" something for this guy..

I am very attracted to him and the dancing makes it worse b/c of all the touching/eye contact

I dont know what to do but I can tell you guys this
the first new R in your life definitely pulls you far away for XH and all the mess..Its like starting over
peace

[Upside]

peace-
My XH says bad things about me to my kids too. It is so sad that they have to involve the kids in their mess. They made the choice to leave and until they process their guilt they have to find or even make up reasons why we are bad guy.

I am glad to hear that you are enjoying (at least to some degree) your new friendship. I think it is wonderful that what you "feel" for him is helping you move forward. I am envious because I think I a ready to be there too. I am so tired of the crap and excuses my H gives me. I miss having someone that makes me feel special. I hope that is what is what you are getting from your new friend.

(((HUGS)))

[glamgirl]

Peace I am so glad that you are distancing yourself from your h's mess. New friend sounds nice. I am with Upside, the grass is looking greener on the other side. Not sure what I am feeling for my h anymore. A new relationship sounds fun!

[peacetoday]

H over to see kids last night
again he said he would only stay 1-1.5 hours and he wasnt going to give me any extra time to go to church

I said to him when he was leaving
This is only hurting the kids
he said
"you chose this"
"this is the consequences for you wanting custody a certain way"

What he was realing sating is that b/c I fought and spent extra money and time during mediation about H and LIve in GF not getting kids except for 1 night every 2 weeks.
b/c I didint want kids to meet OW
( a women who was sleeping with my H while we were together)
H sees it as I hurt him , so its my fault that he wont help me and he wants to PUNISH me

I guess he is still hurt that things didnt go his way in the D..He didnt have the extra money to fight me on these issues b/c he spent it all on OW

So
Its funy how this man wants me to FEEL consequences

hes the one who lost
his wife
his house
His business
His kids
his credit
IN debt 50-75,000

peace

[peacetoday]

I said to him when he left:

I am happy in my life
I am not angry at him

I said I wanted the best for him

he said nothing