Perhaps you should both get moved into apartments with signed leases, make sure your cars work, and then declare bankruptcy and let the bank foreclose on the house.
PDT -there's lots of great advice and views here...but none of them are (or could ) be offered with the benefit of knowing what you're really dealing with...
If you could give us a bit more info...it might be useful...
P.S. I doubt it matters much whose name is on the debt at the time of D, they will probably look at all the debt as marital debt.
Probably. It turns out that her portion is right about the amount (using your "net" formula) anyway, so I may just propose that she keeps that bill, and I pay the others.
PDT -there's lots of great advice and views here...but none of them are (or could ) be offered with the benefit of knowing what you're really dealing with...
If you could give us a bit more info...it might be useful...
Best - GFI
What do you mean?? Hell, I've published my income, my debts, my hometown -- even reprinted my e-mails to and from my wife.
It would appear, however, that I'm a whole lot better at busting up affairs than I am at healing a marriage.
My dear friend....
Though we are not always on the same page....
At the end of the day of DBing or anything thing else-ing....it takes TWO. And while your marriage didn't heal, you HAVE helped many folks heal their marriages. You HAVE been a lifeline to soooooooooo many.
You are a wonderful man, a wonderful father, a wonderful friend. And you were a wonderful husband a good deal of the time.
I'm so sorry to read about your father as well. I will keep him in prayer.
I wish you relief from the pain of this situation....and peace in knowing you really worked very hard at this.
You will be 'the man' caring for your children through this, comforting and giving them security.
You're a man of God -- and you will keep seeking Him through all of this.....and He is with you.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
you HAVE helped many folks heal their marriages. You HAVE been a lifeline to soooooooooo many
Ditto!!! Puppy you disagreed with something on my thread but let me tell you that I am such a stronger person and have a lot more self respect because of you and your advice to others. No matter what my situation turns out I will be a better person because of you and others like you on these boards!
As far as the debt. In my state you can remove names from accounts and then sign an agreement that all debt after a certain date is the sole responsibilty of the other person.
Perhaps you should both get moved into apartments with signed leases, make sure your cars work, and then declare bankruptcy and let the bank foreclose on the house.
Actually, we're strongly considering that.
Well, it is definitely worth thinking about. And these days, it is far from uncommon. Something to think about as a bargaining chip -- you could do the bankruptcy and let her stay out of it and thereby preserve her credit rating. This wouldn't really hurt you anymore than a joint bankruptcy and could give you some real bargaining power.
But, do get the leases on the apartments first, lol.
I am sorry that it came to this. I do want to add that some information that is relavent in my state but not be in yours. It seems like we are problaby in the same boat as you are financially, without debt. Just mortagage and bills. That said, my H, when H moved out last year and was paying for everything still. I worked part time off and on in our marriage too. Anyway, when I contacted an attorney she said that if I could wait around as long as possible in this arrangement that it would be very good for me. It serves as status quo. What that meant was that if H was going to hand me $6200 a month and still maintain another residence and afford everything then come 6 months or a year later whenever he decided to D and then he might ask for a lower monthly amount the judge would look at what he had been paying and probably award me closer to what he had been paying thus status quo.
I am only telling you this because you have talked about moving out and continuing to pay everything. I don't want you to set yourself up and find yourself in that position.
Disclaimer:
Before anyone thinks I would have agreed to that I didn't or wouldn't have. I wanted to sell the house move into something more afforadable and easier and that way giving him more money so he could have a better place to live than he did. I also agreed to go back to school for 4 years so I could further my education therefore, assist better in supporting the children here and then for college. I only asked for 5 years of support to pay for school and health insurance so I could get back on my feet. My H worked hard for his place in life and I certainly don't need more than my fair share and I felt I was always more than able to work it just worked better for me to home most of the time due to his traveling work schedule. We weren't dealing with any major personality disorders though.
For those that might be confused by the signature line... we didn't D and H has been back for almost a year.
Puppy,
Just check and see if this is an issue in your state.
Blessings and Prayers for your whole family.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
