Emotional affair turning into real afair

[Doingitright]

I have a couple challenges facing me in my marriage. Wife said she is not attracted to me and does not have husband wife feelings. Once this announcement came out 6 weeks ago we have been in a bad place that just keeps getting worse. Her cell bill went up over $200..red flag. Checked it and some one from her past was texting with her at day and night. This all coincided with my W getting on facebook in mid February. I then check the phone bills and she was talking to him at all hours...he lives in a different state. Presented the issue and had a heated discussion and she said he was gay. She then starting saying I was smothering her. She put a password on her cell and is constantly on it. The bill came from last month and it is 200 again. Checked the home phone and it has calls as soon as I leave for work in the moring to this person. Pressed the issue and she told me I just think I know what it is but it is not sexual. Bad me for accusing her a third time. So this is where I do something that turns my stomach....i begin to check emails and there are pictures and racie emails back and forth. I am now on a business trip and i get a hold of emails where my W is dressed a certain way going to bed and waiting to call him to tell about it and talking of meeting up and details of a possible meeting that may have already happened. Confront her and she says i am making things up. I haven't provided the proof. She turned it around on me and i was bad for twisting things and threatening to produce the proof. So we had a talk and she does not want to reconcile. She just wanted to keep things the way we are now...nothing happening between us. She is a stay at home mom and we have two young children. We were trying to go to counseling and she did want to, saying a few month ago it would have been good but it is gone. So it was decided we would pursue divorce this morning while I am traveling.

There is more but this was long winded enough. The end of the tunnel is very bad as we have debit galore upside down on houses and living in a very expensive area for apartments. I think the adage "ignorance is bliss" is very appropriate in this case. I actual thought we were going to try and get help. The emails are stuck in my head and keep flashing in my mind. I just cant stop thinking about the emails for more than 30 minutes. As well as how she keeps insisting there is nothing happening. How can I wipe them out? Has anyone been in this situation?