Bottom line, the state guidelines are just that--guidelines. You fall back on those if you can't come to an agreement yourselves (which is generally--but not always--the case).
Don't count on the lawyers/courts pressing her to work full-time. While it makes perfect sense, especially if she wants to stay in the house, there doesn't seem to be much consistency with that.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I think you're right, Hoozhaaaah. I could hire an atty, pay for a occupational evaluator, and go that route, but that would get expensive. If she insists on permanent alimony, I will tho, because over that many years, it would make a difference.
I'm hoping I can appeal to her feminist sense of independence, as well as being able to save more $$$ to help our kids with eventual weddings.
Absolutely makes sense. I guess you know my weakness. Anyhow, revenge, if there's any to be had, is the Lord's. Keep your head up and your faith strong. She'll soon realize what she's losing. God bless you. WP
I have to run and have commitments tonight but tomorrow AM will try to assist where I can. I went thru a long nasty divorce in FL. - and read a lot and learned a lot - not all good. Money is IMO the second toughest part of divorce and the toughest after as you have to live with the restrictions it imposes.
Yes - they usually impose the expectation of working full time but also give time to become trained for a full time position. You will probably have to pay for that training also and living expences while she is doing it. Can she go straight to full time in what she is doing now ? This can be another tricky area - she doesn't "have" to stay in her current career. Hopefully she does.
I want to be as positive and supportive as possible but it can be hard to do with this stuff sometimes. Please do be careful... and I support the play nice as long as possible position. If she wants to she can file and get temporary support right now. For me that was handing over 1/2 my GROSS income "to maintain her current lifestyle" until a different agreement was decided on. In my case that had to be done by the judge because she wasn't giving up that arrangement until she had no choice. I had to pay all the "regular" bills with less than half my income. It very nearly broke my back and did change everything for me. For her it was play money. She knew I couldn't/wouldn't let the kids suffer so she kept it all for herself.
I sure hope yours goes better than mine did at the beginning. Not to scare you but my Ex had/has mental issues - documented ones. They are not admissable in divorce court for anything - even custody decisions. It turned into an almost 2 year struggle and because of things that happened along the way and the anger that I developed, I fought with everything I had and ended up burning her to a crisp. She ended up with literally nothing - not even the kids. I have full legal and physical custody. Ugly ugly. I wish much better for you both.
I have to run and have commitments tonight but tomorrow AM will try to assist where I can. I went thru a long nasty divorce in FL. - and read a lot and learned a lot - not all good. Money is IMO the second toughest part of divorce and the toughest after as you have to live with the restrictions it imposes.
Yes - they usually impose the expectation of working full time but also give time to become trained for a full time position. You will probably have to pay for that training also and living expences while she is doing it. Can she go straight to full time in what she is doing now ? This can be another tricky area - she doesn't "have" to stay in her current career. Hopefully she does.
I want to be as positive and supportive as possible but it can be hard to do with this stuff sometimes. Please do be careful... and I support the play nice as long as possible position. If she wants to she can file and get temporary support right now. For me that was handing over 1/2 my GROSS income "to maintain her current lifestyle" until a different agreement was decided on. In my case that had to be done by the judge because she wasn't giving up that arrangement until she had no choice. I had to pay all the "regular" bills with less than half my income. It very nearly broke my back and did change everything for me. For her it was play money. She knew I couldn't/wouldn't let the kids suffer so she kept it all for herself.
I sure hope yours goes better than mine did at the beginning. Not to scare you but my Ex had/has mental issues - documented ones. They are not admissable in divorce court for anything - even custody decisions. It turned into an almost 2 year struggle and because of things that happened along the way and the anger that I developed, I fought with everything I had and ended up burning her to a crisp. She ended up with literally nothing - not even the kids. I have full legal and physical custody. Ugly ugly. I wish much better for you both.
Perhaps you should both get moved into apartments with signed leases, make sure your cars work, and then declare bankruptcy and let the bank foreclose on the house.
