No problem bro, have a good time at the lake and make a point of doing more stuff like that for yourself.
If you don't take care of you, who will?!
The boiling point analogy, I hear you, but remember you are choosing to be angry, you are choosing to let her affect you this way, you really are. If I tell you to throw a brick through the neighbor's window and you do it, are you going to blame me? Nope. Your wife is doing things to bother you and you're getting angry because you are letting her get to you.
She isn't letting you bother her anymore because she perceived that you and the way you were were problematic enough that she had to take control of the situation, she removed herself so that she got some relief. She pulled away from you, and now that you are trying to pull her back she pushes you away - you see how push/pull works.
Now use it to your advantage.
You see this separation, not as a problem but an advantage. You are getting your space back, you are reclaiming your individuality, you're going to start taking care of yourself and taking responsibility for yourself. It's definitely a great thing.
And you're going to stop pulling her in.
You will create a vacuum of space between you when you stop pulling her in, she will naturally fill in the space between you when you stop pursuing.
It seems to be a law of nature, we pursue what we can't have, we run away from something pursuing us (if you don't believe me what an episode of COPS, everyone always runs, even innocent people run, just a natural instinct.)
But we're going to act unnaturally but make it look natural.
We're going to do the opposite of most everything we typically do (180's) because this creates interest & intrigue. This makes you attractive.
Have you started the gym thing yet? If not what are you waiting for? How about a haircut, a new shirt, a new pair of jeans and definitely a new pair of shoes, pick up a decent pair of walking shoes or runners, I never feel better than when I'm wearing my brand new puma's - I feel like I'm elevated into another social status LOL!
The thing is this, you work on making you a new you, the big stuff, the small stuff, you just do it and you remember what it's like to be you again just for you.
(and that definitely means not buying stuff for her, supplicating her, helping her with stuff, etc.)
Make yourself unavailable sometimes, not in a mean way, in a "I've made plans already since I was free on that day" kind of way.
