I am pretty sure that child support can be/is supposed to be used to pay rent/mortgage. After all, if she was not caring for the children, she could live in a cheaper place. The larger place is a direct cost of childcare.
Sounds reasonable. I will try to get this counted.
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I hope she does abide by your agreement about dates and the kids as it would be better for them, I'd just be very surprised if she does. And, you are better off not trying to control that. Her R with the kids is really her business once you are D, as are her Rs with OM.
Agreed.
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OK, regarding joint responsibility stuff, two things. First, I strongly recommend eliminating any joint responsibility stuff after D. Divide the debt so that she gets some amount that is hers alone and you get the rest that is yours alone. Don't try to keep paying things off "together" once you are D.
I've seen this recommended elsewhere, too; AGREED.
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Second, suppose right now that you get 20k/month net in your pocket and W gets 2k/month net in her pocket. That might sound like it would make it reasonable to divide make the debt ratio between you and her 20:2 not only now, but also in the future. However, after D, you will no longer net 20k/month. You will net 20k-CS-alimony, while she will net 2k+CS+alimony. Let's say you pay 5k/month in CS+alimony. That would mean that you would net 15k/month and she would net 7k/month. So, it would seem that the debt ratio after D on that scenario should instead be 15:7, which is alot different than 20:2. Suppose you had $220,000 in debt. On the first scenario, you'd take $200,000 of the debt. On the revised scenario, you'd only take $150,000. (This is all very rough, there are tax implications to consider, and I'm sure a bunch of other factors, but at least you know what I was thinking...)
Now THAT I can wrap my brain around!!! PERFECT!!! Thanks; I will do NET allocations, not GROSS.
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BTW, have you considered a lump sum offer that could save you money in the long term rather than alimony? She might find a big hunk of change attractive (like equity in the house if there is any plus some big spending money). Just fair warning -- the continued financial link of alimony is a huge soul drain. If you can avoid it, your life will be better. She could of course then remarry sooner without the risk of losing alimony, and then you could play the oh-no-I-would-have-saved-money-paying-alimony game with yourself. But, if you were paying alimony, she'd likely just delay marriage rather than lose it.
Read about it and thought about it, but I can't. With the housing market the way it is, we'll have to wait just to sell it at any sort of profit at all, and there are no other sizeable lump sums that I could use.
thanks for everything -- this one's gettin' archived,
