You keep saying that the D is mutual, and that's why you don't object to moving out, but I wonder, was it really mutual? Did she give you a reasonable alternative? I feel like she's convinced you that this is mutual, but the reality is that she's unwilling to truly be your W. That just doesn't sound mutual to me. It sounds like you saying she's either your W or not, nothing in the middle. I'm sure you know that marriage, as created by God, is meant to illustrate our relationship with Him. There's nothing in the middle for God--he prefer hot or cold, and spits lukewarm out of his mouth (Revelations 3:16). Your W is that same lukewarm--you are now spitting her out of your mouth. But I don't think the D is mutual, I think she made it come to this, so you should make her take the brunt of the consequences. I know you fought hard for your M, so I don't feel it's right for you to now act as if the D is a mutually reached upon decision. Yes, you may now be the one calling for it, but not because you didn't want the marriage, b/c SHE didn't want it.
Just my opinion.
WP
I understand what you're saying, WP, but we're talking semantics here. I'm saying that if it's a given that a marriage to her is the way that it is (and with 24 years under my belt now, I have my eyes wide open as to what it is -- and isn't), then I want out too.
She probably did push me off the dime, starting with her affair and then continuing thru her lack of any real effort at healing, as I was being complacent, lazy and comfortable (but deep down, unhappy and unfulfilled) in the SSM.
I wanted the marriage with someone she was not. I'm trying to deal with reality now.
